Years ago, before having kids, my husband and I explored Europe. A standout memory was visiting Rhodes, one of the Greek Islands.  Not just a holiday, it was also an opportunity to retrace my Whakapapa as my Great Grandfather had been born and raised here.  My Grandmas cousin Mina still lived on the island, so we arranged to stay with her and her husband Kyriakos for the visit.    A language barrier was evident when we first met them at a local petrol station.  Luckily, armed with a phrase book, we were eager to practice our Greek.  

While Mina was preparing dinner, we attempted to practice some of the Greek phrases with Kyriakos.  He just looked at us and waved his hand, giving the odd grunt.  We were clearly terrible at our pronunciation as nothing we said seemed to register with him.  Over the next few days, we continued to practice – Mina seemed to understand what we tried to say but for some reason we were unable to communicate with Kyriakos.  

A breakthrough happened during dinner with English-speaking companions. They revealed Kyriakos was deaf from birth, never learning sign language or reading/writing.  Despite this, he had married a local girl, raised 3 boys, and had managed to run a successful Olive Grove.  Over the coming days we watched Mina and Kyriakos.  It was evident that even though Kyriakos had no way of communicating words, he still was able to communicate with his wife and she was able to communicate with him through their body language and facial expressions.

While spoken words often define communication, surprisingly, 97% of it is non-verbal.   Your facial expressions, gestures, moods, and attire can convey messages.  Having the gift of the gab will not make you a good communicator.  As a leader or a team member its important to recognise what your presence communicates to those around you.  

Kyriakos and Mina taught me how important non-verbal communication is with those we encounter.  So often I can be distracted and lose my presence with those I am with, and my body language and facial expressions gives me away – something I continually work on improving.  Spend some time observing the non-verbal cues around you – how much does this affect what you take in and interpret?